Boob Tuber

Seeing as Matthew is 4 years old now it's no surprise that he has favourite shows he likes to watch. So I plopped him in front of the tube the other day to watch one of them, when little Maya starts blabbing excitedly to me. "Bumba. Bumbob. Bungba". And pointing down the hallway to our bedroom. It took about 60 seconds for me to realize what she was saying: SPONGEBOB. She wanted to watch Spongebob in my room, just like her brother does. I asked her if that's what she meant, she nodded with a huge smile on her face, and toddled into our room and waited for me to turn on the TV. Then sat quietly watching her new favourite show...for about 5 minutes. Then she decided she wanted to watch what Matthew was watching.

The Vagina Monologues

When talking to the kids about certain body parts I really try to use the real terminology and not nicknames and such (just like the books say I'm supposed to). I guess Matthew's been half-listening to me, as last night he asked his father to put powder on his "vagina". LOL. So obviously he's only been half-listening to what I've been saying cuz he's unaware that he doesn't have one of those. Then he started talking about vaginas for about 2 minutes. I have this funny feeling that it's gonna be MY kid in the school yard telling all the other kids "Boys have penises. Girls have vaginas". That and teaching them all the swear words. Oh I'm gonna be popular with the other Moms when he hits school!

Playing doctor

I guess the fiasco with the needles really made a lasting impression on Maya. A few days after getting her shots, I caught her playing doctor with one of her dolls. She was sticking her doll with a needle and saying "Ow". LOL

Traumatized

I took both kids to get their shots a week or so ago. Both at the same time. Well what a show that was!

Matthew went first, and boy oh boy did he not like it! "OOOOWWWWWWWWW! MOMMY THAT HUUUUUURRRRRRRRRT! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! OWWWWWWWWWWW! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!". You get the picture. But it gets worse, cuz he needed TWO needles. "NOOOOOOOO MOMMY! I DON'T LIKE THIS! I HATE THE DOCTOR! OWWWWWWWWWWW!!! I WANNA GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME RIGHT NOW! I NEVER COMING TO DA DOCTORS AGAIN! OWWWWWWWWWWW!". Keep in mind this is before the second needle went in.

Maya of course is watching the whole thing. Her little blue eyes bug right out and she turned white as a ghost (which isn't saying much since she's so white you can hardly see her in a snowbank). Then it's her turn. The doctor comes near her with a needle and she knows this is gonna suck. First needle. "Waaaaaaaaaah". Tries to squirm away but I'm got the Vulcan Death Grip on her. Second needle goes in. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!". Then Matthew starts up again cuz, oh yeah he forgot, his needles really hurt. Now Maya sees Matthew all upset and wails louder.

It's all done, and they walk out of the doctor's office, rubbing their arms and crying "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" in unison. My doctor is usually not the jovial type, but I saw him in the corner with a colleague of his laughing. And I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. The two kids whine all the way to the coat rack, passing the waiting room where everyone there was laughing too.

On the way home, Matthew was having flashbacks I guess and wanted to talk to Daddy at work. I call Chris from my cell, put Matthew on, and as soon as he hears Daddy's voice he whines "Daddy the doctor hurted me!". So I start laughing all over again.

Matthew now swears he will never go to the doctor ever again.

Long time, no blog

OK I'm back. Chris has been ragging on me to write some shit down. Stay tuned for whatever spews out of my head onto the screen.