The 12 Days of Christmas in our house

On the 12th day of Christmas our babies gave to me:

12 slobbery kisses
11 disgusting boogers
10 loads of laundry
9 leg bruises
8 projectile vomits
7 poopy "accidents"
6 minutes of sleeping
5 hu-mun-gous temper tantrums!!!
4 outfit changes
3 darn colds
2 babies' hugs
AND 1 GIGANTIC MESS TO CLEAN UP!!!!

Should wash my mouth out with soap

I'm having difficulty controlling the potty mouth, and it seems that having a nearly-3-yr-old to model for isn't much of an incentive to stop it I'm afraid. My poor use of the English language rears its ugly head whenever the phone rings; "Ah fuck!". OK I really am ashamed of myself, but you see people seem to have radar and only call when I'm feeding the baby, changing a diaper, or stuck on the floor with a baby beneath me and a toddler jumping on top of me. Oh and I never remember to bring the cordless with me, hence "fuck!". So you see it's not just because people had to choose that exact second to phone, but also because dammit! I forgot to bring the phone with me again! Still no excuse. Well now my precious Baby Shmear has picked it up. We were all playing in Mommy and Daddy's room last weekend when the phone rang. And a squeaky voice instantly shot out "Ah fuck!". Oops!

Mommy's Shit List Update: Matthew pooped on the potty!!!!! Woohoo! He held it in the whole next day however so I'm not looking forward to him releasing it. Ugh!

Yes I do talk about poop a lot as a matter of fact

What can I say, my life has become the shits, both literally and figuratively. This is why I can't post about anything else. Perhaps maybe getting thrown up on and how many times I've had to change my clothes throughout the day, but that's about it. So Chris' suggestion is to give my blog a new name: Mommy's Shit List. :)

Super pooper duper!

Matthew was doing really well with potty training today and I let him run around without a diaper or underwear. He told me when he had to pee and we went. He was even able to pull up his pants today without any trouble (they tend to get stuck at the weiner). But the dreaded poop was still looming over our heads. I kept asking him if he had to go and he claimed he didn't. I must've asked about 10 times. Finally I smelled the preclude to a poop (aka fart) and rushed him into the bathroom. I made him sit there for a few minutes to no avail and let him go play. Then he comes up to me about an hour later and says he has to go to the potty. We run into the bathroom and I can smell what I think are the beginnings. He's pulling his pants down and I can see he's already started, but I thought he stopped himself so he could use the bathroom. After about 5 minutes of sitting there I check and there was something stuck to his butt. A little poo, but I still thought it count. Woohoo!!!!! We cheer and run to the kitchen to get his reward: a Kinder Surprise egg that we have been saving for his #2's on the potty. We called up Daddy to tell him the good news. I put the slightly dirty clothes he was wearing downstairs into the washer, waiting to be soaked when I had the chance. When the time came I went to the laundry room to take care of the business and the laundry room smelled like crap. Hmmmm, I think to myself, how can a skid mark on his pj pants leave such a bad smell for so long? I pick up the pants to rinse and soak and lo and behold, there's a huge turd in his pants! He didn't poop on the potty at all! I've been duped by a 2-year-old! And he already ate his chocolate Kinder Surprise egg. I should make him barf it up!

She did poop later on that day.

Just thought I'd update you all in case you were wondering. LOL. :)