Defying the laws of gravity

How is it that Maya is able to poop UPWARDS? It's bad enough having to deal with this bodily function, but she seems to always get it in her most delicate areas and it creeps me out having to clean it up. I never believed people when they said girls were harder to clean up than boys because of extra folds; now I know what they mean. And while I'm complaining, can anyone tell me why she'd save up a whole day's worth of poops and blast off all at once? I thought it was annoying when she'd do little ones throughout the day at first and I'd have to change her a million times a day, but this is just darn inconsiderate! Oh, and she only does it for me; she NEVER saves it for when Daddy looks after her. Perhaps there's a conspiracy here. Has Daddy bribed her somehow so he doesn't have to clean up the mess? Hmmmm, sounds like something he'd do.

Is it too early to start potty-training her?